She's My Painkiller
by atr0cities
Summary: Jim feels useless and needs to be consoled. C'mon, we all knows who's gonna help out


**New shipping time! The lucky shipping I have now fallen for is, drum roll please! -pathetic drum roll- **

**JIM AND PAM FROM THE OFFICE! YAYY!**

**Yes, these two have taken over my thoughts pretty much. Love em to death. So, this is my first fanfiction I got to write with them. Hope you enjoy~**

.:.:.:.

Jim's POV

Pop. Snap. Clack. There goes the bottle cap. Tap tap tap goes my fingers at the sink. I swallow sharply and breath out my nose. I didn't know what to do with myself. I was such a mess. So undeserving of everything. Everything from my job and my colleagues to my loving family I have formed. I didn't like thinking about how spoiled I have become. All of this that I have acquired were just too much and undeserving for me. The first tablet slid out the bottle. Then the second. The third and the rest following it. I clutched the cup of water in my hand and shoved the pills in my mouth, cramming them down my throat, following by the water flooding in my throat. My body immediately felt the numbness. I growled; I couldn't feel anything, especially my own body. I coughed and sputtered. My stomach was bubbling from the overdose of acids. I clutched the toilet bowl and threw up. I couldn't take the overdose and just let it all out. After getting rid of it for a couple of minutes, I washed my mouth and trudged into our room. By our I meant Pam's bed and my floor, since she always kicks me off. I slid into the sheets and tried to close my eyes. The lamp flicked on and I felt small, cool hands holding my arm.

"What were you doing? I heard you vomiting." her voice had a pang of worry in it. That guiltiness I felt in my stomach made me stay in my turned position, so I couldn't see her worry and anxiousness.

"Nothing..." I mumbled, completely inaudible but, of course Pam could hear it.

"Yes, you were doing something. What?" I shifted slowly to her, the spark of fright in her eyes made me look away from her. What am I to say? I'm trying to commit suicide because I'm not good enough for anyone? Especially you? Of course not, why would I break her fragile heart, I don't want to be like Roy...

"I probably ate something that wasn't agreeing with me." I lied. She sighed.

"This has been happening for the past week, James." She used my full name. I knew then that she was very worried.

"I don't know, Pam." I said quietly.

"Jim," she started. "Please, tell me what's wrong. I'm your wife for God's sake, you can tell me anything." I looked at her and I hugged her, a single tear in my eye.

"I'm not good enough, Pam." I whispered hoarsely.

"Bullshit." she retorted. "Yes you are. Jim, you are good enough. I don't understand why'd you'd say that. You make everyone around you happy and laughing. You're a wonderful friend, coworker, father and husband. You are one of the best things that has happened to me. I want you to know that." she let go of me and looked me into the eye. "What were you doing in that bathroom, James Haplert?" she asked me again.

I couldn't speak. I didn't know how to say it without making her feel betrayed.

"I-I... I was taking some... some..."

"Spit it out." she told me softly.

"I was taking some pills." I said, my voice nothing above a whisper. She looked at me with complete shock.

"Wh-Why would you?" she asked me. I looked away.

"I'm not good enough for anyone, especially you, Pam." she sighed.

"Stop it now, Jim. You are. If you weren't, I would have never called off my wedding with Roy. I would have never kissed you that night. I would have never married you. I would have never even had your own child if I knew you weren't good enough! Jim, you are good enough. You make me so proud that I have someone like you taking care of this family, I'm relieved that you're such a good father and husband. The last thing I need is for you to leave me forever." She got up and took my wrist. "Come." she told me and I slid off the bed. She held me so I would be positioned in front of the mirror.

"Look at that man in the mirror." she told me. I looked up to myself. My eyes were ringed red, my mouth quivering, and my body so worn out. "That man, the man in that mirror, he is one of the strongest, most faithful men I've ever had the privilege to live with in my whole life. This is the man you wanted to destroy. The man of love and compassion. The man that had saved my life and the life of your daughter's. You wanted to kill your family's savior." She hugged me from behind.

"Jim, I don't know how to show you how much you're worth but I want you to know you are worth something, no matter how small. You are worth something in my eyes, and that's all that should matter." I looked at her, speechless. I didn't know what to say to her. She just flung the most amazing speech at me that I could have never told myself, even in my most arrogant stages. I turned to her and picked her up into a hug, my arms around her and her legs around me.

"Pamela Beesly Haplert, you truly are an amazing woman." I told her and placed my head onto her shoulder. She hugged my neck, her head on my shoulder.

"I try, Jim, I try."

.:.:.:.

**So, what did ya think? Liked it? Hated it? Review please! **


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